Terror
by Izzu
Summary: Suppose he had to try overcome this feeling.
1. Chapter 1

_"I won't do it again."_

He's done eating, yet staring back at what remained of his 'memorial offerings' reminded him of the fact that for a year... people _dear_ to him was led to believe that he was dead. It brought back the dark thoughts that often haunt him whenever he was alone.

He thought again of those moments. That time when he was chained up, constantly being coerced to reveal the details of his allies. Being doused with water, kicked and punched. Moments where he almost wished that he could just die, those times were the ones when he had felt so alone. He thought of the many covert missions he undertook, of the many near misses that he got; the many instances where he could have just as easily taken a fatal blow that would have ended his life. He thought of that _one_ gunshot; how Argus could have killed him if he aimed a bit higher. He thought of the other times he was being shot; those moments always seemed to last for a very long time for him, as if time had moved slower.

Those were the many times he'd come close to death. Yet, despite that terror... he couldn't imagine another path that he could take. He could choose to retire once he gets back home, but he didn't want to do it in this kind of manner. He always thought that if he was to retire... he'd do it once he was of the right age—like how his father did it—regardless of the final rank he received. He wanted to be someone, his father could be proud of.

He'll overcome this obstacle. Somehow.

"—jin! Captain Yoo Sijin! Do you copy?"

He glanced back towards his concerned girlfriend and tried to give her a decent smile. As if that could have fooled her. She frowned.

"You spaced out again. And here I thought we could finally have our private time, after that video call earlier."

He let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry."

xxx

She felt her heart break again, seeing him like this. Her Captain Yoo who was always so reliable and dependable; right now seemed so fragile and vulnerable. And she thought she just managed to get him to smile earlier.

"Excuse me. Sorry again..."

Moyeon turned around to see Sam peering into her tent again. "Sorry, Beauty. But the supply truck finally arrived and we're short of hand. Some of the doctors also had their hands full with the refugees..."

"I'll come over in a sec!" Moyeon cried out as the man left. Sijin grabbed her arm.

"You're leaving me alone over here? Don't go!"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm just going to help out for a bit. Seeing that you're here with me... alive, I might as well cut my volunteer time here short. But that would also mean that I should try to help the people here a bit more. I've only been here a few days after all. It'll be a shame if I end up not doing anything else here just because my initial reason for coming here became void."

Sijin frowned at her. "And that would be?"

Moyeon stared at him incredulously. Why on earth this man asking her the obvious when he already knew the answer? But she answered him regardless. "You. I _did_ thought you were dead before. And this." She took out a familiar pebble out of her pants pocket and placed it on the table.

"I didn't want to have to return this pebble to that beach by myself."

xxx

He stared at the pebble for a long time as Moyeon went to the other side of the tent, searching for something. He then recalled the place where he found Moyeon earlier and remembered that text message from her, mentioning something about an oasis. Did Moyeon plan to leave the pebble there?

Sijin glanced up as he sensed some movement, and saw Moyeon injecting something into the IV bag.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she sat beside him. She smiled.

"My extra _prescription_ to get you to rest. This time, I'm going to make sure that you're _finishing your IV_ and resting properly."

"You're really gonna leave me here... aren't you?"

"It's just for a few minutes!"

She laughed. As if her plan's gonna work! He started to try removing the needle attached to his left hand as Moyeon stopped him.

"If you're going out, I'm following too. I don't want to stay here by myself. Do you know how long I—"

"Yoo Sijin. Are you scared staying here alone?"

He blinked. "No, I—"

"That aside, did you like the wine? You drank a bit earlier, didn't you? I tried to find the same type of wine as the one we had in Uruk, but I can only guess..."

He stared at her silently. Come to think, Moyeon didn't let go of his hand either. "Why are you suddenly changing the to—"

Without warning, Moyeon leant towards him as she kissed him squarely on the mouth. He returned the kiss by instinct. But then he realised something was strangely wrong as he started feeling drowsy. He tried to pull away from her as Moyeon placed a hand behind his neck, slowly lowering him onto the bed.

Recognition started to creep into his dazed mind as he realised what Moyeon just did.

"Ah... you cheated," he managed to say before darkness took over.

* * *

Ignore me, I'm being kinky. Trying to sneak this piece in between that other piece I wrote earlier on this part.


	2. Chapter 2

She watched him sleeping again as she placed the phone aside with her own. Sijin slept soundly still. She was worried that the sedative she used to get him to sleep was not enough to keep him unconscious for too long. She remembered what happened with Ahn Jeongjun last time, so she was being cautious. But then in that guy's case, it's probably because he pulled out his IV before the sedatives could do their job.

So she was glad that it worked. She's not sure what she could have done if it didn't. These particular soldiers did seem to have a different level of tolerance to sedatives and anaesthesia after all. Supposed it's a Special Force soldier thing.

 _"My son... please take care of him."_

She sighed, as she recalled Sijin's father's words to her. Suppose... his father would have understood. Myeongju told her _before_ that Sijin's father was also a soldier, even if the father didn't manage to get too far up in the ranks.

Moyeon kept eyeing the sleeping form, as she let out another sigh. At least he wasn't having any _nightmares_. Guess that kiss did its trick. Ah, she couldn't help noticing his lips now. Even asleep, Sijin's lips looked so plump and...

She hastily brushed the thoughts away as the mere memories of her actions earlier causing her to blush. Ah, that was so embarrassing. Those kinds of things were more of a Sijin thing. It's just so unlike Kang Moyeon to pull something like that out. _So racy..._

Her thoughts turned dark again, as she recalled a conversation that they used to have before.

xxx

Haeseong Hospital. VIP Room 710. One year ago.

"Yoo Sijin... did you really have no fear? Like that soldier over there?" she asked, lying on the bed with him as they continued watching the movie that was still playing in front of them.

"Who on earth could be so fearless? Life is not exactly like in the movies..."

She chuckled. "Are you sure? You seemed pretty reckless yourself, as far as I could see,"

"I'm just so good at pretending that I feared nothing. Can't you tell?"

"Not really I—" she could hear him yawning behind her, "—if you're getting sleepy you should sleep first. We'll finish this movie next time."

She felt his arm gripping her waist tighter as she finishes talking. "No, don't. You'll end up sleeping in that other bed, won't you? After turning the TV off? No, I don't want you to leave."

 _This wuss_ , she thought to herself, grinning. "You just want me to sleep with you on this same bed, don't you? Pervert."

"It's fine, as long as you're with me. I don't feel so scared... if you're here,"

She wasn't expecting that reply; in fact, she never really thought Sijin would tell her things like that. Even back in Uruk, when she used to wish that he could tell her things that bothered him... he always evades it with some silly joke. But this time, perhaps what happened the other day affected him more than he let on.

Moyeon felt her heart skipped a beat as she turned around to look at him. Sijin had turned his gaze elsewhere, and the room was so dark she couldn't see his expression.

xxx

It was similar. The Sijin then and the Sijin right now. He's usually pretty honest whenever he gets a bit depressed. Guess even Big Boss could be so honest whenever he got a bit spooked.

She suddenly thought about the first time they kissed. How he had looked a bit scared before that, and that longing look he used to have much earlier. She wondered about what kinds of thoughts that he might have had then, and if the other reason why he gathered his will to kiss her then and there... was because her presence comforted him even more than any type of wines that he could have had consumed.

She recalled again that time when she had woken up in darkness, wondering who was it that that turned the television off for them. Or what might have caused her to wake up so suddenly at that time when she supposed to be so _tired_ before. She got up for a bit... to look at the sleeping man beside her. She used to think that he was so adorable when asleep that time.

But then she saw him stir in his sleep, and looking as if he was suffering. All her anger and frustration at him for almost dying the day before immediately blew away when she saw that.

Moyeon sighed. _What was she to do about this man?_

She took out her candle that she often have by her side and lighted it. She turned off the tent's lighting instead. Turning back towards the bed, she gently pushed Sijin aside to make room for herself. Trying her best not to wake the other, she slid onto the bed and lied on the bed. Taking Sijin's hand wrapped in a cast, she placed his arm around her waist as they slept together.

Wishing that she could always take away the darkness that haunted her man in his dreams...


End file.
